Art Therapy today, before I write about my class I should mention how I had a restless night sleep, woke to snow than rain and had a meeting after class.
Last class we went through a moving and emotional two hours of choosing colors, cutting up your drawing, discussing who you are now verses who you see yourself becoming.
This class, as I was making my way there I thought I’m so tired but it will be worth it. The instructor had told us we were going to paint. Great, maybe a spirit image or some abstract image which truly reflects something else, who knows I’m in.
Upon arriving, I see magazines on the table and more people present than the week before. Not only were we not painting, we were squished in beside each other. I don’t enjoy bumping elbows. Not painting so what were we doing? Collage? Cool. I start looking through magazines finding pictures and words that ‘speak’ to me.
Unfortunately it wasn’t that type of collage or that type of self reflection class. Nope it was choose a color and than find that color in the magazines to fill up a large white sheet. Just a color. No words, images, nothing. Just two very long hours ripping or cutting out the color blue and putting it in a pile. When I asked when we were going to atleast glue the pieces, I was told next class. Next class? Seriously? Two hours of ripping out the color blue, no one was talking, all you could hear was tearing and cutting and breathing. I started to get irritated and bored.
Ok don’t miss this experience there has to be a reason behind this. An hour goes by. I start tearing out the color green just to mix it up. Someone sniffling starts getting on my nerves. Still no one talking. Geesh. Leave get tea, speak to anyone I see just to talk (yes I would be awful at the 10 day silent meditation retreat people have tried to get me to go on).
Finally an hour and a half in, I call it. No more. I asked for the large sheet saying I think I have plans for next week and will glue the pieces on at home, oh joy can’t wait.
What did I learn? That sometimes, even if something is hard or not fun you stick it out and learn what you can. Or you recognize that the person sniffling and the tearing that is driving you crazy is a sign that you need to leave and do something else.
Its ok to try things, stick it out or recognize that it is just not for you. It is hard though to know when to push yourself, or those you love in seeing something through and when to know its time to walk away.
How do you know?