Are you really upset over the small comment or something that happened hours ago today? Ask yourself, does this really matter? What is really going on?
As I find myself walking around my place, picking up an item, moving it, then moving it back. Checking the plants to see if they need to be watered, getting frustrated by noises from the neighbours, baking just to bake. Reliving conversations and events from the day with my internal dialogue questioning every comment, reply and action. I am getting to the point of being annoyed with myself.
Time for self-reflection.
Self-reflection is not as much fun as denial and digging into ice cream but well, denial land is not working out so well for me right now as I would prefer peace tonight instead of worrying.
So I stopped and thought, ‘is this issue really what is bothering me?’ A comment someone said to me yesterday really that important?
What is really the issue?
I find when we begin to stress over the smaller things in life, not that they are not important in the moment, we are hyper focusing on them because of a bigger issue we may not want to face.
Upcoming presentation you have been working hard on and fearful of speaking in front of people. Instead of voicing your fear you may get upset with your partner because they forgot to buy the milk. Important to buy milk, but important enough for a full blown argument? What’s really bothering you?
We have all been there when someone text us, we miss the text because we were busy and the person flips over the fact that you didn’t immediatly respond to, ‘hey hows it going?’. What’s really bothering them? Do they feel like they are not important in your life? Intimacy issues? Or maybe they have something big going on themselves and are focusing on a random text to direct their anger towards.
When we feel out of control we tend to focus on small things that we can control.
So when you feel your temper rise over something or you continue to beat yourself up over a conversation you had, a meeting you were in and play the coulda, woulda, shoulda game, ask yourself what is the bigger issue.
Tonight as I pace around, eating freshly baked cookies, getting irritated with any small noise, I realize that I’m really worried about an upcoming meeting tomorrow. Have no control over it so hone in on the small annoyances.
After self-realization occurs, so does the reminder that I do have control. I can choose my response to the worry of tomorrow.
I remind myself,
‘Don’t let the worry of tomorrow take away from the peace of tonight’