I have people coming over for a visit. I am excited to see them, yet feel my stress and anxity rising as I am frantically rushing around my place trying to clean, move things, straighten up and yes hide things. I keep my place clean, but always feel like I have to go that extra mile when I have company. I do want them to come over but hate that my night before is spend rushing around second guessing everything in my place. Wish there was a way just to enjoy the visit without the night before feeling stressed out over my place.
From No rest for the host
Dear No Rest for the Host
Stop. Seriously, just stop. Go make some tea or coffee or something and take a time out. Breath. Go do it, I’ll wait.
Now ask yourself, ‘why did I say yes to having them come over?’ That is the important part. You didn’t mention if it was family or friends, both have their own anxiety surrounding a visit. However, the main things is, why are they coming over? Simple: to see you. To spend time with you. You said yes, to see them, to spend time with them.
Of course we all want to impress others and worry about how we are judged by people, even our loved ones, or maybe especially our loved ones.
You say you keep you place clean, so you don’t live in a place with rotting food or needing a map to get through all of your things. That’s great. Major goal accomplished from how you normally live. Now its just the small stuff.
Ask yourself, what is important? The bathroom? Little kids coming over so hide/move breakables. What is important to do and what can be left? Dusting or moving to vacuum behind the couch may not be high on your list. Garbage, dishes, bathroom, general tidiness are important areas. The rest is up to you.
Yes up to you.
Your friends, family, visitors are there to see you and spend time with you. Not to put on a white glove and inspect your place.
Be easy on yourself. Make a list, small list of a couple things you want to clean or tidy up, than stop and enjoy your night. Remember why they are coming to visit and why you said yes.
Don’t let the worry of how others may or may not judge you take away from the enjoyment of people coming over to visit. You are who you are and the people in your life should and do like you for you.