Gossiping or sharing information….where to draw the line?

Gossiping or sharing information….where to draw the line?

In some of the courses I take and with some people I chat with, I have what I call, ‘the Vegas Rule’. What happens in class and during discussion stays there in those walls not to be repeated.

Of course we all gossip and share information with each other. It is a natural normal thing to do. Personally some of my friends and I can spend hours over coffee chatting away about anything and everything.

But do you ever go to say something and pause and think should I be telling this person this information? Or if you hear something, do you think do I or don’t I tell?

Where do you draw the line?

Sharing information can be anything, from shows, news, your life, your feelings, events that happened, random facts about your week and so on.

Gossiping is defined as:

1. idle talk or rumor, especially about the personal or private affairs of others:the endless gossip about Hollywood stars.
2. light, familiar talk or writing.
3. Also, gossiper, gossipper. a person given to tattling or idle talk.

Sometimes I can get caught up in the conversation and ‘overshare’ information that was not mine to tell. I have actually lost a good friend to this. The information I shared was true, however was not my story to tell to someone else. I have learned my lesson the hard way.

In the classroom, I often ask the students and teach them the difference between ‘telling’ and ‘tattletelling’. Telling is sharing information, tattletelling is when you tell on someone to get them in trouble or just to share personal information about them that is not your business.

Children, adults, young and old, we all learn and relearn the lesson, sometimes the hard way on what to share with others and when.

Now, I try to pause and ask myself, ‘will this information hurt the person I am telling?’, ‘Do they need to know that someone said something not nice about them?’ ‘is this my story to tell?’

 

Did you see his tattoo?

Just because you can tell some juicy gossip you heard, does it mean you should? Yes, people are listening to you in the moment, they are also possibly thinking, ‘wow if she is saying this about that person, I wonder what she says about me?’ making people not want to open up to you.

 

There are of course sometimes where you need to make the hard decision and tell someone something because it will help them. Maybe you saw your best friend boyfriend cheating, and you tell. Be careful your best friend might not be as appreciative as you think.

Stop, pause and ask yourself why you are sharing before you share. Could save you a lot of hurt later on.

Have you overshared? Have you been in a situation where you had to decide to tell or not tell? Share your story here.

 

 

Book Review: The Widow by Fiona Barton

The Widow by Fiona Barton

A fast paced detective novel based on the disappearance of a young girl named Bella. Was she kidnapped? Was she killed? Sold? Taken into another family to be raised as their own?

As her mother continues for years in the media to campaign to ‘Bring Bella home’, a determined detective who risks his career searches for the missing girl. His investigation leads him in many direction however, influences and pressure from others has the case zeroing in on one man. Is he actually guilty? Or did they focus on him and build a circumstantial case due to pressure to solve and lay blame on someone?

Even years after, Bella went missing, the Detective continues his search with the help and hindrance from Newspaper reporter, Kate and hopefully after all this time the Widow of the primary suspect.

As the plot unfold, the reader is brought back and forth to the beginning of the case to the present. You get to see what the police were thinking in the beginning and the possible holes in their initial investigation.

The widow herself does not play a large role, other than some musing and her home life with her husband. I tried to figure out as I read, is she a victim of a controlling porn addicted husband or is she more aware than she lets on?

A great read for people who enjoy a novel that is a combination of a thriller, detective and intricate relationships between people.

4/5 stars. Recommend to others as a great fast past read. 4 stars as I would not save this novel to reread but really enjoyed reading it.

Happy Reading

Hard to Resist

Repost from Tiffanybeingfree. Inspiring poem about wanting to change things and realizing, that even a moment of mindfulness is pure bliss.

Mindfulness Based Yoga

What is Mindfulness Based Yoga?

‘Recognizing where you are right here, right now.’ Jon Kabat-Zinn

Mindfulness based yoga is a combination of breathing, some yoga postures, meditation and active awareness (mindfulness). The yoga component is based on a handful of simple yoga moves as found in a gently yoga class such as cat, cow, baby cobra, plow and series of stretching. Mediation and mindfulness occurs between each pose as you return to the savasana position and while breathing, reflect on the sensations in your body, how you feel right now in the moment. Mindfulness and breathing also occurs during each pose. You hold the poses longer than you would during a flow yoga class to experience not only how you feel physically but also how you are responding to the position, possible discomfort, and racing thoughts.

This is not yoga or exercise for weight loss or strengthening, although you can experience both. It is rather a way to become in tuned with your thoughts and your body as you move through various positions.

Beneficial for stretching, flexibility, strengthening your muscles, deep breathing, massaging your organs and increasing blood flow in the body. Also recommended when you are feeling anxious, stressed, and depressed or any state or mental angst, this will assist you in decreasing your heightened negative state, allowing and reminding yourself to breathe as your move through the poses.

‘Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain and illness’ Jon Kabot-Zinn

Mindfulness yoga helps you to develop strength and flexibility of not just your physical being, also your mental state as well. Strength in your mind to realize you can do these poses, and although you may not enjoy every moment and your mind will wonder or perhaps think about it being over and the lists of things you have to do, over time you become more flexible in allowing yourself to accept your discomfort and just be present in the moment as you return to the breath.

Developing strength and flexibility physically and mentally is extremely beneficial in all aspects of your life. Bringing care and attention helps the natural healing process and gives you time to work on yourself. Are you someone who gives up when feelings of discomfort or dislike arises? Can you allow yourself to just be and stay in the moment, not trying to change it but recognize how you feel. Discomfort and dislike is natural state, how you choose to handle your thoughts is up to you and through mindfulness you can become more present and instead of reacting as your normally would, you bring awareness to your thoughts and reflect, just be in the moment.

Any form of meditation and yoga can incorporate mindfulness.

You can try Mindfulness Yoga through Jon Kabot-Zinn CD at home or perhaps explore and find your own instructor. You can even add mindfulness to your already existing yoga practise but just tuning in to your thoughts as you move through each pose.

Of course in which ever method you chose to do recognize where you are at and accept and mostly give yourself credit for taking the time to take care of yourself, mind, body and spirit.

Namaste

 

 

* Inspiration – Lingering in Happiness

Reposted from ‘Find Your Middle Ground’ beautiful inspirational words by Mary Oliver

Find Your Middle Ground

Lingering in Happiness 
After rain after many days without rain,
it stays cool, private and cleansed, under the trees,
and the dampness there, married now to gravity,
falls branch to branch, leaf to leaf, down to the ground
where it will disappear — but not, of course, vanish
except to our eyes. The roots of the oaks will have their share,
and the white threads of the grasses, and the cushion of moss;
a few drops, round as pearls, will enter the mole’s tunnel;
and soon so many small stones, buried for a thousand years,
will feel themselves being touched.

~Mary Oliver

Let your very roots be touched and nourished with Mary Oliver’s words today.

View original post

Mindful Moment: Monday subway part 2

Last week I wrote about and am still talking about the horrible experience with the angry, irate man who called me names because he didn’t like my attitude and the look on my face.

Fast forward to one week later, same time, same place (well maybe different section on the subway) same crazy heat wave kind of day.

I braced myself for the possible altercation and ran through scenarios on how I would handle it… yes not productive but well we all do it. Better prepared right? 🙂

Difference this time? The subway was more packed. More anxious, sweaty bodies desperate to get home after a long Monday.

Yet, this time, I was offered a seat, I declined but said ‘thank you so much for offering’. Another stop, people got off, another person offered me a seat. I saw someone stand up and give up their seat to an elderly person. People were kinder today.

Why the difference?

My take away after reflecting is, don’t judge others based on one person. The guy last week was a jerk, yet I was fearful to get on the subway and than surprised by the kindness I saw today.

Great mindful moment for me on to try to think things are going to go well instead of thinking the worse. And to remember that there are more good people than nasty ones.

Namaste.

Don’t forget to write your on every Monday and link back here. Can’t wait to read and learn from each other.  

 

Mindful Moment: You’re Invited

You’re Invited to

Monday Mindful Moments

 What is a Mindful Moment?

Can be a reflection on a quote,

inspirational, just a thought of the day,

something that moved you, made you stop

and take in the moment

 

Write in your blog and link it back to here. 

Comment/like someone else’s mindful

moment.

Let’s share and uplift each others day.

Namaste

 

Book Review: Don’t You Cry by Mary Kubica

 

Don’t You Cry by Mary Kubica

I have really enjoyed this author’s work before such as Good Girl. This book was linked to Gone Girl and Girl on the Train. Rated 3.7 out of 5 stars on Goodreads, 3 out of 5 stars on Indigo and said to be a thriller, page turner of a novel that you couldn’t put down.

I could put it down and wished I hadn’t picked it up.

Looking up on Goodreads I am in the minority with my review of this book, so please read it if you enjoy the author or the other books mentioned above and let me know what you think. Reading reviews, I noticed you either loved it or hated it. To each their own.

This novel consist of two stories: Quinn’s and Alex’s. They occur simultaneously switching back and forth at each chapter.

Quinn is a young woman who works in an office and is living with her roommate, Ester. She doesn’t really enjoy her job and admits to not always being the best roommate, however she enjoys living in the city, is friends with Ben from work and when Ester goes missing she is deeply disturbed and begins her search.

Alex is an intelligent young man, 18 years old, who lives in a small town with his drunk father. He works in a diner after giving up a scholarship to be able to take care of his father, since he is the only one around to do so after his mother left. One day a mysterious woman comes into town. For a small town in the middle of winter this is big news and Alex, out of curiosity and boredom, begins to follow the woman and befriend her.

I summed up the majority of the plot in those two paragraphs above. The author took over 300 pages to do so. Yes, over 300 pages, where she describes in detail every little speck of dust, the shape of each cloud in the sky, the cold in the air. Even three paragrpahs dedicated to getting a glass of water. Three paragraphs.

Throughout the book I kept thinking, ‘what is the point?’

Quinn is self-absorbed woman who goes on and on about how Quinn probably left because she didn’t like her or wanted to replace her. How her friend Ben will never want her. On and on, every single inhale of breathe is written. Only towards the end does she think, hmm maybe it is not all about me, maybe I should be worried that my friend and room mate is missing’. Glimmer of hope for Quinn, but just a glimmer as even at the end she goes back to making everything about her.

Alex has no friends, no life and a horrible home environment. He has opportunities to change but doesn’t. Befriends the new stranger in town, who does weird and illegal things, because he is curious and well has nothing else to do. Alex is smarter than Quinn, and figures things out quicker, however as every step is described in detail, literally there are two chapter about the sound of his footsteps, he in the midst of what could have been a suspenseful moment, thinks of himself. The author of course chooses this time to replay, in excruciating detail Alex’s life.

Defiantly a book you can skim through, as not much dialogue or action happening. I solved the mystery early on and plead with the author to get to the point already.

Oh how I wanted to really like this book that I even prolonged reading it, thinking next time when I come back to it, it will be better, nope, never happened.

2/5 stars don’t recommended, wouldn’t give away, hope to return.

Have you read this book? What do you think?

Happy Reading ♥

 

Mindful Moment-Breathe

*from facebook poems written by anonymous

Slow down. Breathe. You can do it. Keep going.

Read, breathe, believe, repeat

Monday Question: Do You Believe In Yourself?

Written by Jay Colby. Very thought provoking examination on how you value yourself. Do you believe in you?

Jay Colby

Do you believe in yourself? This may seem like a pretty simple question and most would answer by saying yes of course. But I would like to challenge you to take a  step back and really analyze your life and the decisions you make or have made. Then think back to those tough decisions you’ve made and how did you decide whether or not to take a chance and follow your passion or dream. Did you have that self-confidence deep inside of you knowing you could do it or did you doubt yourself?

Now some may ask what really does “believing in yourself” mean well simply said it’s the confidence you have in yourself that no matter the situation you face you believe you will  accomplish it. Believing in yourself is important to achieve just about anything in life. If you don’t truly believe in yourself, you can’t get through…

View original post 483 more words